Today we will combine our jersey segments with our Advent calendar. Because Christmas is all about giving and taking and all that crap. So what exactly makes this a Christmas special? Mountains. Snowy mountains. Just looking at the Stockton and Malone era Utah Jazz gives you that comfy feeling of being in a log cabin with a fire place on the side. I mean the purple kind of kills that wintery theme, but not enough to take me away from being comfy. Even the little belt on the shorts looks like a snowflake.
Hopefully I can find a much more Christmasy jersey for next week…..
Not only does this jersey have a rocket orbiting a basketball, but it is an angry rocket orbiting a basketball. Look at that sneer, I would not want to mess with that rocket. Come to think of it a pissed off rocket really is the best thing for Charles Barkley to wear. Well not the rocket part as much as the really angry part. I am almost positive that when Elton John wrote Rocket Man that he was not talking about Charles Barkley. Though I’ve been wrong before.
Hockey jerseys in the 90s really were ridiculous. We have already looked at the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim jersey with a giant duck goalie bursting out of the ice. Now we have the LA Kings in what appears to be a jersey with an emblem of the Burger King. I really wish I knew who was designing these jerseys over in California. And I also wanna know how he convinced the greatest hockey player of all time to sport this abomination.
There was a time when the Toronto Raptors were cool. Actually it was still only Vince Cater that was cool, and I am fortunate to have this very same purple Carter jersey in my collection. As a kid though there is nothing more awesome than a uniform with a giant red dinosaur plastered on it. To make things even cooler the dino is also wearing a Raptors jersey. It’s so meta.
You look at this and ask yourself ” who wouldn’t want to have their franchise represented by a cartoon duck exploding out of ice?” Nobody, that is the answer. As the years took us away from the 90s they also took us away from some of the most ludicrous jerseys that sports ever saw. I mean it’s not even just a ridiculous design but it is also teal.
Teal. How could that have ever been a bad idea.